In the name of the Rangers, Celtic and the holy west coast
I swear I saw the image of Rabbie Burns on a piece of burnt toast
I put it out on display for all to see
In a glass cabinet in my pantry
People came from miles around
And I only charged them three pond fifty pee
Entrance fee
If you live in the Highlands, if you live in the South
Roll your 'r's , explore those frictives in your mouth
It's a beautiful country, it's a lovely state
But on Reporting Scotland it's still 1978
Oh, Jackie Bird fly away
Heather the weather can stay
For the day
In Galloway
Scotching the stereotypes
Haggis, tartan and bagpipes
Screaming freedom and bearing your backside
If you're born in Fife
It's not too late to change your life
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