Central Belt Blues

from Reckless Bowie by Various Artists

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lyrics

I count the corpses on my left, I find they're East Kilbridey
There's a lot of new towns in the central belt
We've had twenty more built since Friday
And I can't control it
My instincts are to run amok, not thole it

I'll slash Glencoe, Kilmarnock's dead
And Penicuik's folks off their heads
Ardrossan out from Saltcoats is red
But now I've got the Central Belt blues

Is this the real Fife?
Am I in Pittenweem?
In Auctermuchty, no-one can hear you scream
I was all lost in the central belt.
You've no idea how scary that felt.

Didn't know what town it was
Airdrie or Linlithgow
It could have been Musselburgh or even Port Glasgow
It was a wintry night
The signs were cloaked in snow

If it was Glasgow, we would see the city lights
Inverkeithing, we'd smell the shite
Like Frankie Zappa
Trapped in hazy cosmic Fife

There's a barman working in Kilsyth
He'd like to get ti Falkirk
Or to Ladybank in Fife
There's a barman working in Kilsyth
He might consider Bathgate,
Cumbernauld or Inverclyde
He told me
I don't want to go to Paisley
Helensburgh would drive me crazy
Maybe I should move to Lenzie

I had to phone someone
So I picked on Jackie Bird
I know that sounds absurd
But she knows her Scotlandwell I've heard

Look out your window, she said,
Can you see the Clyde?
Does it sparkle or smell of formaldehyde?
I thought, She's lost it now,
I wish I'd never tried

There's a barman working in Kilsyth
He'd like to get ti Falkirk
Or to Ladybank in Fife
Or La la la la Largs
La la Larkhall
Lower Largo

credits

from Reckless Bowie, released November 11, 2021

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Various Artists Scotland, UK

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