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Reckless Bowie

by Various Artists

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1.
Do you remember that guy on the beach When we were filming for this song? I was dressed from head to toe In a clown suit I got the message for 'Action!' and I start singing and walking but when I do This old geezer with an old dog Walked between me and the camera Well, knowing this is gonna take a while I walked past him, sat next to camera In my full costume waiting for him to pass The director says, excuse me Mr Do you know who this is? The old guy says, 'Of course I do! It's some cunt in a clown suit.' That made me realise I'm just a cunt in a clown suit Filming on the beach - what a hoot I'm just a cunt in a clown suit
2.
Derrida 02:42
I'm a deconstruction worker Riding in the back seat of my car Master of applied linguistics Jacques Derrida If you wanna get post structural On Speech and Phenomena I'm on the Margins of Philosophy Jacques Derrida So inviting, social sciences and the arts Literally critical mutation Jacques Derrida I wouldn't do it for money I'm just wiped out with things as they are My psychoanalysis is so funny And I c'mon like a regular superstar An aesthetic transformation Jacques Derrida So inviting, social sciences and the arts Ontological exploitation Jacques Derrida Get it on yeah Phenomenology is so sexy Anthropology is bizarre Don't get me started on political theory Or Foucault or Jean Paul Sartre I could fall asleep at night As Jacques Derrida (rock n roll star) I could fall in love all right As Jacques Derrida (rock n roll star) Jacques Derrida Jacques Derrida Just watch me now
3.
Jon-a-than Meades Jonathan’s pretty cute He always wears a suit With his sunglasses on Bet your life he’s puttin’ us on Oh, lordy Oh, lordy You know I need Jonathan Talkin’ At me Jonathan Meades dancing On architecture Or anything really He turns me on That’s why I’m singing this song Jonathan dancing Off Kilter was quick and lean Jargon, a well-thumbed machine I watched every episode Made my eyes, my brain, my heart explode Oh, lordy Oh, lordy You know I need more Jonathan Talkin’ At me Jonathan Meades dancing On architecture Or anything really He turns me on That’s why I’m singing this song Jonathan dancing Jonathan Meades dancing On architecture Or anything really He turns me on That’s why I’m singing this song Jonathan dancing Dancing
4.
This little fat man who sold his soul I don’t want to be hacked I don’t think there’s ever been a president That’s done what we’ve done I wanna find a friendly reporter Are you a friendly reporter? I do get good ratings I’m really not a bad person by the way I see tone Anti-Trump The tone! I don’t have to tell you What I’m going to do in North Korea And I don’t have to tell you What I’m gonna do with Iran I just have nobody to speak to I find it very very hard Doing what the law says exactly to do I see tone You know the word tone Anti-Trump Chubby little loser Modern day presidential Tweeting like a tiny child Modern day presidential chubby thumbs Chubby thumbs terrifies me Chubby thumbs on the lavvy Chubby thumbs gets away with anything I love to negotiate things I do it really well and all that stuff Quiet quiet quiet
5.
Wake up, you sleepy head Put on a blazer and cap on your head You had too much to smoke last night You called Mr Grimsdale a shite Put on a record, take off your dressing gown Listen to The Pretty Things doing Don’t Bring Me Down What’s Good For The Goose dear Wasn’t good for your career Oh, The Pretty Things (oh, you pretty things) Don’t you know you’re driving Norman Wisdom insane? Oh, The Pretty Things (oh, you pretty things) Don’t you know you’re driving Norman Wisdom insane? With the Mary Jane Goodbye Phil May and Electric Banana
6.
I was watching bloody Newsnight, When I saw a Billy Bunter And he was a little old man ([Hello!]) In drab black and gray, chuckling away Well he trotted out the usual As he sat beside Kirsty ([Ahh!]) With his tiny hands on his tummy Chuckling away, laughing all day “I ought to report you to the Gnome Office.” [“Gnome Office? Ahahahah!”] Mark Francois, hee, hee, hee He’s a laughing nob and a cunt you see Mark Francois, hee, hee, hee I’m a laughing gnome and you can’t catch me, Said the laughing nob Well I gave him bully beef and carrots And a glass of Pimms. ([*burp* Pardon…]) Then I put him in a time machine Packed his bag, and gave him a flag. [“Have you got a light, boy?”] “Here, where do you come from?” [“Gnome-man’s land, heehee!”] Oh, for fuck sake In the morning, when I woke up, He was back on the fucking telly, Talking bout sticking it to Gerry He’d brought Fred along to sing us a song. “Alright, let’s hear it… ‘ere, what’s that clicking noise?” [“That’s Fred, he’s a metro-gnome, haha!”] Jesus Christ Mark Francois, hee, hee, hee He’s a laughing nob and a cunt you see Mark Francois, hee, hee, hee He’s a laughing nob and a cunt you see
7.
Biden has been breaking wind near Camilla again Listen Don’t look at the carpet, he dribbled something awful on it See He’s such a wonderful person But he’s got problems Oh-oh-oh-oh He’s gonna follow through
8.
And in the death, as the alt right corpses lay rotting on the slimy thoroughfare, the shutters lifted in inches in Bute House high on Charlotte Square. And red, mutant eyes gazed down on Embra City. No more big wheels. New Labour fleas the size of rats sucked on neoliberal rats the size of cats And ten thousand populists split into small tribes Coveting the highest of the sterile statues Like packs of dogs assaulting the glass fronts of Harvey Nichols Ripping and rewrapping illegally hunted fox, now legwarmers Family badge of post-truth and cracked Brexit Any day now The Return of the living dead "This ain't Rottenrow This is Jenners. Hide!"
9.
Sartre takes a cigarette, puts it in his mouth He ponders what he’s done, imposter syndrome he can not forget The waiter is acting the part of a waiter, he’s not finished yet Even Nicola rocks a role inside You’re never too old to lose it, never too young to choose it And the concept of authenticity has to be worked on You don’t walk past cafes, you sit down and eat croissants Even Nicola rocks a role inside Death draws the final point when we as beings cease to live for ourselves And permanently become objects that exist only for the outside world Don’t let the Sun cast a shadow Don’t let the Mirror ride your mind It is natural to be unreligious and kind Oh Nicola, you’re not alone You’re watching yourself but you’re too unfair You got your head all tangled up but if I could only make you care Oh Nicola, you’re not alone No matter what or who you’ve been No matter when or where you’ve seen The unexamined life will lacerate your brain I’ve had my share, I’ll help you with the pain You’re not alone Just turn on with me and you’re not alone We’re condemned to be free – you are not alone (existential) Gimme your brains, you’re existential (existential) Gimme your brains, you’re existential (existential) Oh gimme your brains
10.
11.
Tactful thistle in Strathmiglo Surveys the prairie of Dunoon Mobile phones spin out derision Nicola puts her twitter feed on hold They've called the cops out on the west side To all the cybernats at home But the key to the meeja Is in the Sun that pins allegiance to Sky
12.
Fife Years 01:55
Pushing through St Andrews Square So many actors flyering (flyering) News had just come over We had Fifers left and right here News guy wept when he told us Earlsferry's dire (dire) But no-one trusted the BBC anymore So I knew he was a liar (liar) He said telephones, inside bogs, electricity, Soy sauce not known in Kelty People treat it like a whorehouse, they really didn't care But there's so many great things going on in there And all the Strathkinness people And all the Dunshalt people And all the Kirkcaldy people And all the Cellardyke people I never thought I'd need Lochgelly people
13.
Queen Radge 01:04
I'm up on Scott Monument watching the tourists below There's a piper on Princes Street trying hard to blow blow blow Well he's known in the darkest close for pushing ahead when in Jenners If he says he can play it, then he can play it, but he don't do The Proclaimers Walk out Easter Road for 500 Miles Oh no not him He's so pishy in his tartan tat In his kilt towel and see you Jimmy Hat Oh god I could do better than that
14.
I count the corpses on my left, I find they're East Kilbridey There's a lot of new towns in the central belt We've had twenty more built since Friday And I can't control it My instincts are to run amok, not thole it I'll slash Glencoe, Kilmarnock's dead And Penicuik's folks off their heads Ardrossan out from Saltcoats is red But now I've got the Central Belt blues Is this the real Fife? Am I in Pittenweem? In Auctermuchty, no-one can hear you scream I was all lost in the central belt. You've no idea how scary that felt. Didn't know what town it was Airdrie or Linlithgow It could have been Musselburgh or even Port Glasgow It was a wintry night The signs were cloaked in snow If it was Glasgow, we would see the city lights Inverkeithing, we'd smell the shite Like Frankie Zappa Trapped in hazy cosmic Fife There's a barman working in Kilsyth He'd like to get ti Falkirk Or to Ladybank in Fife There's a barman working in Kilsyth He might consider Bathgate, Cumbernauld or Inverclyde He told me I don't want to go to Paisley Helensburgh would drive me crazy Maybe I should move to Lenzie I had to phone someone So I picked on Jackie Bird I know that sounds absurd But she knows her Scotlandwell I've heard Look out your window, she said, Can you see the Clyde? Does it sparkle or smell of formaldehyde? I thought, She's lost it now, I wish I'd never tried There's a barman working in Kilsyth He'd like to get ti Falkirk Or to Ladybank in Fife Or La la la la Largs La la Larkhall Lower Largo
15.
16.

about

A collection of David Bowie based material from the Daily Reckless with a Caledonian centred second half culled from unused tracks posited for the All Back To Bowie's show. Featuring clips from the 'Cracked Actor' documentary and snatches from various Bowie interviews.

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released November 11, 2021

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Various Artists Scotland, UK

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