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The Sound Of Bullshit

by Various Artists

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1.
The ethics advisor arrived with a karaoke machine Saying now is the time to sing I Will Survive If you know what I mean If we ever get caught take full responsibility And say lessons have been learned Now let’s move on Under the table We’ll be having some fun Under the table We’ll get covid done Under the table We’ll throw up on the walls Under the table Nobody’s taking calls I think we got away with it
2.
He has a drink but doesn’t think That anyone will care, Hosts a bash, goes on the lash Then claims he wasn’t there When asked for explanations He’ll blub it isn’t fair I think he’s going to fuck it for us Tories! He treats all high affairs of state As just a silly game While all other affairs he’s had Will see him shift the blame While smirking for the cameras Because he has no shame… …Exactly like the rest of all us Tories! I’d like to say, although it’s indiscreet: He won… me my… seat How do you solve a problem li-i-ike Boris? How do you feed an arsehole its own shit How do you find a word that sums up Boris? A sociopath! A charlatan! A tit! Many a gaffe you’d like him to acknowledge, To tell the truth and lead and know he’s sinned, To wake up and see the score And settle for cheap decor How do you nail a fart upon the wind? Oh how do you solve a pro-o-o-blem like Boris? How are we going to get this fucker binned? He’s lost count of all his kids He would fuck some giant squids And then press the molluscs for a hefty loan And deny it to Lord Geidt Who’ll believe the lying shite When he claims that was all done on an old phone He thinks it’s just a joke Then he’ll give your wife a poke Indifferent to every fresh affront He’s a narcissist, a liar, A fantasist! He’s dire! He’s a wanker! He’s a monster! He’s a cunt! How do you solve a problem li-i-i-ike Boris? How do you feed an arsehole its own shit? How do you find a word to sum up Boris? A Crook! A Chancer! Psychopath! A Git! Many a time, pretending we’re still smiling, We’ve been yearning he’d fall under a bus… …But how can we wield the knives To save our political lives When you’re as complicit in his crimes as us? Oh how do you solve a problem li-i-i-ike Boris When the alternative will be Liz Truss?
3.
I have confidence in Boris Oh no, I’ve changed my mind again I don’t have confidence, I do, I don’t, I do! But not while we’re at war with Ukraine
4.
Hi, I'm Nadine sooking amphetamines Hoping to get a buzz Lost in a brain fog In love with big dog Empty ideas R Us I'm not renowned for being profound But I can say what I like I make up statistics Thick as two short bricks I can't even get my metaphors right 96% of my brain Doesn't know what's going on Like those who voted for Remain And millions who voted wrong Someone somewhere's telling porkies Luckily I know best I am Nadine put me on morphine Give me and my senses a rest
5.
And you may find yourself in a rose garden And you may ask yourself, I beg your pardon This is a works event, I’m off my face What we need is more wine in a suitcase The deputy editor of The Sun is here But he’s not on Beaujolais he is on beer He’ll make sure the plebs don’t hear of these things Oh no, Jocasta has broken Wilf’s swing There’s a funeral in the morning But we won’t be sad We’ll simply just keep getting more and more pissed And then we won’t feel so bad
6.
Oh Eddie Mountain He's a real MSP If you don't believe it Just listen to me... Stuff yer independence, Nicola walk with me I've a multi-million pound inheritance and a MP salary I get 40 grand through utilities and insurance by the way I'm a 50 per cent shareholder in Delfur Fishings - wahey hey I can move, move, I'm Eddie mountain I can move, move, I'm Eddie mountain Walk with me and we'll go far Daddy was the chairman of Eagle Star So don't worry about who owns what I love this country - not a lot I can move, move, move Eddie mountain I can move, move, move Eddie mountain
7.
Here come the ghost of Jimmy Savile Uhuhuhuh...fuck you Who would have thought he would unravel Bawjaws and his crew
8.
The whole British Isles being drowned in bullshit It's all we have heard for a thousand years The commons resounds with the sound of bullshit And meaningless speeches poison our ears People often say to me You have too much time on your hands But I've only got the exact amount As everyone else has It's been over twenty years since The Daily Reckless began I've been singing the news and drowning in booze almost every day since then So I go to the hills when my heart is lonely I know I will hear what I've heard before My heart will be blessed with the sound of music And I'll sing once more
9.
Thixotropic 00:32
Thixotropic Westminster A criminal cartel Public school mafia Morally bankrupt as well There’s no written constitution So they can just do as they please A thick viscous solution Bringing the country to its knees They don’t need a majority Junta
10.
Perhaps she had a wicked childhood Perhaps she had a miserable youth But somewhere in her wicked, miserable past There must have been a moment of truth But here she is, sitting there, floundering Talking about tea socks, I suspect somewhere in her youth or childhood She must have been dropped on her head Nothing comes from nothing Yes, tea sock, she said So somewhere in her youth or childhood She must have been dropped on her head
11.
Drowning Street, Drowning Street There goes another advisor Scuttling off the sinking ship Rats abandoning their Kaizer Too much snow made them bloom and glow Bloom and glow forever Drowning Street, Drowning Street When's Big Dog going? Never
12.
Sniff On 01:25
Let’s draw a line and snort it up our noses Chop, chop, move on let’s feed our psychosis Let’s celebrate and have another party Forget wine time, now it’s time for Charlie Sniff. sniffy, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff Sniff, sniffy, sniff, sniff, sniff Charlie is my darling, my dah I’m as high as Rees Mogg’s Penny Farthing Toot, toot, toot

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released June 17, 2022

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Various Artists Scotland, UK

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