1. |
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The ethics advisor arrived with a karaoke machine
Saying now is the time to sing I Will Survive
If you know what I mean
If we ever get caught take full responsibility
And say lessons have been learned
Now let’s move on
Under the table
We’ll be having some fun
Under the table
We’ll get covid done
Under the table
We’ll throw up on the walls
Under the table
Nobody’s taking calls
I think we got away with it
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2. |
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He has a drink but doesn’t think
That anyone will care,
Hosts a bash, goes on the lash
Then claims he wasn’t there
When asked for explanations
He’ll blub it isn’t fair
I think he’s going to fuck it for us Tories!
He treats all high affairs of state
As just a silly game
While all other affairs he’s had
Will see him shift the blame
While smirking for the cameras
Because he has no shame…
…Exactly like the rest of all us Tories!
I’d like to say, although it’s indiscreet:
He won… me my… seat
How do you solve a problem li-i-ike Boris?
How do you feed an arsehole its own shit
How do you find a word that sums up Boris?
A sociopath! A charlatan! A tit!
Many a gaffe you’d like him to acknowledge,
To tell the truth and lead and know he’s sinned,
To wake up and see the score
And settle for cheap decor
How do you nail a fart upon the wind?
Oh how do you solve a pro-o-o-blem like Boris?
How are we going to get this fucker binned?
He’s lost count of all his kids
He would fuck some giant squids
And then press the molluscs for a hefty loan
And deny it to Lord Geidt
Who’ll believe the lying shite
When he claims that was all done on an old phone
He thinks it’s just a joke
Then he’ll give your wife a poke
Indifferent to every fresh affront
He’s a narcissist, a liar,
A fantasist! He’s dire!
He’s a wanker! He’s a monster!
He’s a cunt!
How do you solve a problem li-i-i-ike Boris?
How do you feed an arsehole its own shit?
How do you find a word to sum up Boris?
A Crook! A Chancer! Psychopath! A Git!
Many a time, pretending we’re still smiling,
We’ve been yearning he’d fall under a bus…
…But how can we wield the knives
To save our political lives
When you’re as complicit in his crimes as us?
Oh how do you solve a problem li-i-i-ike Boris
When the alternative will be Liz Truss?
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3. |
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I have confidence in Boris
Oh no, I’ve changed my mind again
I don’t have confidence, I do, I don’t, I do!
But not while we’re at war with Ukraine
|
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4. |
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Hi, I'm Nadine sooking amphetamines
Hoping to get a buzz
Lost in a brain fog
In love with big dog
Empty ideas R Us
I'm not renowned for being profound
But I can say what I like
I make up statistics
Thick as two short bricks
I can't even get my metaphors right
96% of my brain
Doesn't know what's going on
Like those who voted for Remain
And millions who voted wrong
Someone somewhere's telling porkies
Luckily I know best
I am Nadine put me on morphine
Give me and my senses a rest
|
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5. |
Wine In A Suitcase
01:14
|
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And you may find yourself in a rose garden
And you may ask yourself, I beg your pardon
This is a works event, I’m off my face
What we need is more wine in a suitcase
The deputy editor of The Sun is here
But he’s not on Beaujolais he is on beer
He’ll make sure the plebs don’t hear of these things
Oh no, Jocasta has broken Wilf’s swing
There’s a funeral in the morning
But we won’t be sad
We’ll simply just keep getting more and more pissed
And then we won’t feel so bad
|
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6. |
Move Eddie Mountain
02:15
|
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Oh Eddie Mountain
He's a real MSP
If you don't believe it
Just listen to me...
Stuff yer independence, Nicola walk with me
I've a multi-million pound inheritance and a MP salary
I get 40 grand through utilities and insurance by the way
I'm a 50 per cent shareholder in Delfur Fishings - wahey hey
I can move, move, I'm Eddie mountain
I can move, move, I'm Eddie mountain
Walk with me and we'll go far
Daddy was the chairman of Eagle Star
So don't worry about who owns what
I love this country - not a lot
I can move, move, move Eddie mountain
I can move, move, move Eddie mountain
|
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7. |
||||
Here come the ghost of Jimmy Savile
Uhuhuhuh...fuck you
Who would have thought he would unravel
Bawjaws and his crew
|
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8. |
The Sound Of Bullshit
02:38
|
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The whole British Isles being drowned in bullshit
It's all we have heard for a thousand years
The commons resounds with the sound of bullshit
And meaningless speeches poison our ears
People often say to me
You have too much time on your hands
But I've only got the exact amount
As everyone else has
It's been over twenty years since
The Daily Reckless began
I've been singing the news and drowning in booze almost every day since then
So I go to the hills when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music
And I'll sing once more
|
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9. |
Thixotropic
00:32
|
|||
Thixotropic Westminster
A criminal cartel
Public school mafia
Morally bankrupt as well
There’s no written constitution
So they can just do as they please
A thick viscous solution
Bringing the country to its knees
They don’t need a majority
Junta
|
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10. |
||||
Perhaps she had a wicked childhood
Perhaps she had a miserable youth
But somewhere in her wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth
But here she is, sitting there, floundering
Talking about tea socks,
I suspect somewhere in her youth or childhood
She must have been dropped on her head
Nothing comes from nothing
Yes, tea sock, she said
So somewhere in her youth or childhood
She must have been dropped on her head
|
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11. |
Drowning Street
01:08
|
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Drowning Street, Drowning Street
There goes another advisor
Scuttling off the sinking ship
Rats abandoning their Kaizer
Too much snow made them bloom and glow
Bloom and glow forever
Drowning Street, Drowning Street
When's Big Dog going? Never
|
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12. |
Sniff On
01:25
|
|||
Let’s draw a line and snort it up our noses
Chop, chop, move on let’s feed our psychosis
Let’s celebrate and have another party
Forget wine time, now it’s time for Charlie
Sniff. sniffy, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff
Sniff, sniffy, sniff, sniff, sniff
Charlie is my darling, my dah
I’m as high as Rees Mogg’s Penny Farthing
Toot, toot, toot
|
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