1. |
Seven Deadly Bins
02:10
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Oh oh the dustbin men at No.10
Think it’s such a fucking shame
That the sinister prime minister
Never makes them daisy chains
They’re swapping disappointing incidents
While offshore another boat pulls in
And suddenly the door breaks down (ooh la la)
It’s the seven deadly bins
On the doorstep the cop and the cat
Have seen it all before
Dictators and murderers
Have stumbled through that door
Sordid affairs with billionaires
And powder in their guns
And the seven bins with their deadly grins
Tend to measure beauty in tuns
The first is red for taking out the dead
And the second is orange for debris
The third is yellow, going to hell oh
The fourth is pretending to be green
The fifth is blue for me and you
The sixth is indigo
But the seventh deadly bin is violet and grim
Oh oh oh oh oh
Anarchy, anarchy, anarchy
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2. |
Anger Me
02:04
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Rubbing myself with filthy headlines
Preparing an online diatribe
Spoonfeed me delicious made up outrage
Make me feel alive
Anger me! Sully my childhood memories!
More upset! MORE!
Culture wars and culture bores
Fighting imaginary wars
Each side suckered in by each
Nouveau brain dead nouveau riche
Are you so bland you cannot see
Or think or hear yourself
Roy Rogers and trigger me
Put that book back on the shelf
Shut down the bloody internet
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3. |
Birdhouse In Dingwall
01:22
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I’m your only friend
I’m not Ashley your friend
But I’m a little glowing friend
But really I’m not actually your friend
But I am
Peter Murrell, Murray Foote, Nicola Sturgeon
Who watches over you
Kate Forbes with a birdhouse in Dingwall
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I’m the only wee free in your bonnet
Kate Forbes has a birdhouse in Dingwall
I have a secret to tell
Jesus loves you as well
It’s a simple message and I’m leaving out the whistles and bells
So everyone must listen to me
Make me leader of the SNP
But I’ll have to kill off Yousaf and Ash Regan first you see
God says Scotland expects
My Guardian columnists are always near
Peter Murrell, Murray Foote, Nicola Sturgeon
Who watches over you
Kate Forbes with a birdhouse in Dingwall
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I’m the only wee free in your bonnet
Kate Forbes has a birdhouse in Dingwall
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4. |
Dundee Oh
01:14
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Living on the east coast, babe
In an Angus paradise
Where they call a spade a spade
And it’s a peh not a pie
The home of Macgonagall
And the silvery Tay
Dens Park and Tannadice
Way hey hey hey hey
We’re in Dundee-o
It’s the Rio of Scotland
Home of the Beano
Journalism, Jute and Jam
Minnie the Minx is here
And so is Desperate Dan
The V&A and Brian Cox
From Succession
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5. |
Grifting On A Memory
01:26
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6. |
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There’s a hippopotamus, a hippopotamus, in Glenrothemus, made of tin*
A hippopotamus
A hippopotamus
A hippopotamus made of tin
How did it get there? How did it get there? How did it get there?
Stan Bonnar
How did it get there? How did it get there? How did it get there?
Stan Bonnar:
“There was a little hippo
It is a work of environmental art
Environmental cognitive recreativity.”
Isn’t it grand?
Yes. Yes. So grand.
*lyric by @billherbert
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7. |
Jesus, This Is Ziggy
01:15
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8. |
Move Over Dalek
02:46
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9. |
Yanis Varoufakis
02:19
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Realign yer chakras
Realign yer chakras
Realign yer chakras
With Yanis Varoufakis
He has a new vision
Of capitalism
Technofeudalism
No more neoliberalism
Mad Men take
The sizzle not the steak
Everything’s fake
Nobody’s awake
Old markets are dead
Thanks to the internet
Everyone’s in debt
Can you understand it yet?
It’s quite the shift
No-one noticed
Except Yanis
He knows where it’s at and is
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10. |
This Is Boring
03:04
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I’ve got friends in low places
You don’t want to go there
Their miserable faces
Can only sit and stare
Nothing’s lovely
All the time
I’ve got friends in high places
You don’t want to go there
Their ecstatic faces
Can only stop and stare
Everything’s lovely
All the time
So put me down
For a visit every second day
I’ll be perfectly balanced
In every possible way
This is boring
My adoring public awaits
I’m ignoring
All the warnings
This is great
Most of my socialising
Is at funerals these days
It isn’t really surprising
Life’s a passing phase
Not much is happening
Some of the time
So put me down
Or pick me up again
I’m completely unbalanced
I’m Tao, I’m Zen
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11. |
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12. |
On The Lash
02:28
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13. |
Peninsula Mentality
02:51
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If you’re feeling insular
Get to a peninsula
Like South Korea, Italy or Fife
You can escape the commonplace
If you are willing to embrace
The peninsular mentality of life
If you’ve got a beef, mate
Then don’t cross the line
You can alienate
Whenever you like
You needn’t be prejudice
Just appreciate the bliss
And if you don’t like the country
You can always jump into the sea,
Ignorance is rife
The peninsula mentality of life
Will come to you
Whenever I wander
Wherever I roam
There’s a nagging feeling
That’s dragging me home
You could be on a dual carriageway
Suffering from road rage, say
And all of a sudden, out of the blue
Kirkcaldy is calling you
What is it about Fife?
The peninsula mentality of life
Yeah
The peninsula mentality of life
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14. |
Raac In The High School
01:05
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Raac, raac, raac, raac, raac in the high school
Well, I don’t care about history
Raac, raac, raac in the high school
And I’m the education secretary
Raac, raac, raac in the high school
I don’t care about politics
I just wanna chuck some bricks
Raac, raac, raac, raac, raac in the high school
Raac, raac, raac, raac, raac in the high school
Fuck fuck, raac in the high school
Fuck fuck, raac in the high school
Fuck fuck, raac in the high school
Fuck, fuck, oh baby
Fuck, fuck, oh baby
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
Raac, raac, raac, raac, raac in the high school
Raac, raac, raac, raac, raac in the high school
Raac, raac, raac, raac, raac in the high school
Raac, raac, raac, raac, raac in the high school
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15. |
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Here we all are sitting in a funfair
In fabulous sixties outfits and hair
Doin’ the things that you’re not supposed to
Like smoking a fag on a rollercoaster
I am smoking a fag
On a rollercoaster
But I can’t find the ashtray
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16. |
That Is What Cunts Do
01:51
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17. |
Wired Unsound
01:18
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I like small speakers,
I like tall speakers,
If they’re wide speakers, I won’t have them around
Walkin’ about being really judgemental,
Gained a few pounds? should have stuck to the lentils,
Critical, bit of a bitch you know,
Oh-woah-woah, woah-woah-woah!
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18. |
Riot In EH16
01:10
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On November the fifth in 2023
They were chucking fireworks at the polis in Niddrie
The Edinburgh Evening News put it on the front page
But they used a fake picture tryin’ to cause yet more outrage
There’s a riot goin’ on – the Evening News has got a picture
There’s a riot goin’ on – a 10 year old picture
There’s a riot goin’ on
Hey, that’s Kyiv, not Niddrie
National World Publishing – stirring shit a speciality
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19. |
The Three Hoarsemen
05:33
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20. |
The Tay Bridge Disaster
03:25
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Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.
‘Twas about seven o’clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clouds seem’d to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem’d to say-
“I’ll blow down the Bridge of Tay.”
When the train left Edinburgh
The passengers’ hearts were light and felt no sorrow,
But Boreas blew a terrific gale,
Which made their hearts for to quail,
And many of the passengers with fear did say-
“I hope God will send us safe across the Bridge of Tay.”
But when the train came near to Wormit Bay,
Boreas he did loud and angry bray,
And shook the central girders of the Bridge of Tay
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.
So the train sped on with all its might,
And Bonnie Dundee soon hove in sight,
And the passengers’ hearts felt light,
Thinking they would enjoy themselves on the New Year,
With their friends at home they lov’d most dear,
And wish them all a happy New Year.
So the train mov’d slowly along the Bridge of Tay,
Until it was about midway,
Then the central girders with a crash gave way,
And down went the train and passengers into the Tay!
The Storm Fiend did loudly bray,
Because ninety lives had been taken away,
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.
As soon as the catastrophe came to be known
The alarm from mouth to mouth was blown,
And the cry rang out all o’er the town,
Good Heavens! the Tay Bridge is blown down,
And a passenger train from Edinburgh,
Which fill’d all the peoples hearts with sorrow,
And made them for to turn pale,
Because none of the passengers were sav’d to tell the tale
How the disaster happen’d on the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.
It must have been an awful sight,
To witness in the dusky moonlight,
While the Storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,
Along the Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
Oh! ill-fated Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
That your central girders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.
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