1. |
I Touch My Face
01:01
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I wash my hands following government guidelines
Singing God Save The Queen 54 times
I miss out 'Rebellious Scots to crush'
I can't find anti-bacterial handcream in Lush
Oh I'm a complete disgrace
And when I put my glasses on, I touch my face
Ooh, I can't do it any other way
Oh no, oh no, oh no
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Coronavirus girl
Don't wanna get close achoo
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2. |
Is This Like Flu?
01:34
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Is this like flu?
Because people die of the flu
And this is very unu...sual
I'm not sure what to do,
Is this like flu?
Is this like flu?
Do I have to self-isolate?
Can my face mask be orange? Great!
That would be really cool
Is this like flu?
Is this like flu?
It's a little bit different
But it's easier too
And in some ways it's a little bit tougher
I'm lost
Is this like flu?
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3. |
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I saw Mommy nicking sanitisers
From the shelves in Boots on the high street
She didn't see me creep
Up the aisle to have a peep
She thought I was in WH Smith
Buying some sweets
Then I saw mommy sell hand sanitisers
On eBay at an extortionate price
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Matt Hancock had seen
Mommy exploiting a crisis for her own gain
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4. |
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Stranded at the Gas Station of Love using the self-service pump. - @Head4Heights
His genitals will never know the touch of love. - @Writerer
I crashed my computer just the other day
It was due to a bug - coronavirus they say
I was stranded in a pun about a beer at the time
Trying to fit in a reference to a lemon or a lime
Of course everyone had done that joke well before me
The difference is the Daily Reckless has to sing it, you see?
But how was I to know that the next photo I'd spy
Was a boy with a tattoo of Boris Johnson on his thigh
Meanwhile, back on the web
Baby, baby, what's that guff?
Your genitals will never know the touch of love
He's stranded at the gas station of love
Using the self-service pump
Oh bleeurgh!
Oh bleeurgh!
Meanwhile, back in the real world
The media were saying we're all going to hell
People were panic buying bog rolls and hand gel
When I woke up and my head started to clear
I had a strange feeling I was getting the fear
I thought about a face mask cos that's what we've been told
But what I really needed was some pins or a blindfold
My eyes, my eyes were burning as I strained to see
That's when I found out that tattoo was haunting me
Good god, get me outta here!
Baby, baby, what's that guff?
Your genitals will never know the touch of love
He's stranded at the gas station of love
Using the self-service pump
Oh bleeurgh!
Oh bleeurgh!
Oh bleeurgh!
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5. |
Coronavirus
01:34
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Coronavirus, virus, I'm gonna give you fever
Coronavirus, virus, I'm gonna give a you
Shaking, a cough and shortage of breath too eh
Coronavirus, virus, a come on
Coronavirus, virus, a come on
Coronavirus, virus, I'm gonna give a you
Fits and shakes and aches and death eh
Coronavirus, virus, a come on
Coronavirus, virus, a come on
Come on a my house, my house, I'm self-isolating baby
Come on a my house, my house, let's shake together baby
It's so catchy - spread it around
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6. |
Achoo
02:16
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Who knows what the wind's gonna bring when the invalids sing
La La's with a powerful sting that'd stop any opera or any Bing
Sing, spread the news across the land:
All winners will be also-rans
Achoo--One size fits everyone
Achoo--One breath, the deed's been done
Grey hair and a dash and a flair give your doctor an air
I'm hurt, but the choice you made is an obvious one for a girl who needs care
I do hope that he makes you well
Say, is there any cure for Hell?
Achoo--One size fits everyone
Achoo--One breath, the deed's been done
Sing, Ile de France and everywhere
You can't ignore that sort of air
Achoo--One size fits everyone
Achoo--One breath, the deed's been done
So, open wide, open wide and say, open wide and say goodbye, you'll be OK
Achoo--It's gonna whisk you away
Achoo--It's gonna make you OK
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