1. |
Forever In Good Genes
02:43
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We all know the news is fake
They're calling me a Jaffa Cake
And Cheesy Wotsit Oompa Loompa man
They're questioning my hue, and cry
"He's as red as his massive tie"
And then they make fun of my tiny hands
Money talks
It says I'll buy the truth and call it Fox news
And if anyone has a question
'Bout my complexion
I'll tell yer it's good genes
I'm so fit
Cos of all of those smashing orangey bits
Belisha beacons pale next to my face
I'm a special case
Covered in good genes
Ooh, when I go out at night
I ruin traffic lights
And light up the whole sky
I'll make you cringe
I'll even make a rhyme with orange
I'll make a deal - the biggest and the best
Forever in hi-vis - yes
I'm covered in good genes
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2. |
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I know more about history than anyone
So here's a history class
I'm gonna teach you a lesson
Get medieval on your ass
Before they invented rocks and stones
Before they invented steel
Cavemen fought with dinosaurs
And invented the wheel
Why don't you ask them who's doing all the crimes?
Why don't you tell them it's the New York Times
You'll get so lonely
Making up history
It ain't you only
You got something to say?
The wheel is older than the wall
The wheel is older than the wall
The Romans and Egyptians
Invented the house
America was discovered
By Mickey Mouse
In the beginning was the word
And the word was guns, right?
Before they invented colour
Everything was black and white
Why don't you ask them what they are gonna do
Why don't you tell them you invented irn bru
You'll get so lonely
When they lock you away
It ain't you only
You got something to say?
The wheel is older than the wall
The wheel is older than the wall
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3. |
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Nobody has more brains than me
It's cos I scoop your skulls like a zeitgeist zombie
Nobody has more brains than me
I am the smartest fellah
To never close an umberella ella
I just love myself
I'm being held up by the media
I've got the best health and
I know more than wikipedia
Happy days are here again
Monday, Tuesday, Happy Days
Wednesday, Thursday, show us yer brains
Nobody has more brains than me
It's cos I scoop your skulls like a zeitgeist zombie
Nobody has more brains than me
I am the smartest fellah
To never close an umberella ella
Ooh somebody call up MENSA
I call a wall a fence
A woooooo
I've got a werewolf IQ
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4. |
Diet Of No Fibre
03:23
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Backin’ up, constipated
Tweetin’ rage with his scants down
Went the distance, now he’s back on his feet
Just a man and his compacted bowel
When he was young, it happened so fast
He’s traded glory for ex-lax
He’s lost his grip, as he rage tweets his blast
He must fight just to tweet out his shite
It’s the diet of no fibre
Taking pills for a shite
Sitting down to the struggle with his iPhone
So the capslock slave driver stalks his prey out of spite
While he’s watchin’ Fox News with his scants, round his ankles
Tweet to tweet, his buttocks gain heat
Talkin’ tough, always hungry
He’s in the cludgie as we take to the streets
Still tweeting blame on crooked Hilary
It’s the diet of no fibre
Taking pills for a shite
Sitting down to the struggle with his iPhone
So the capslock slave driver stalks his prey out of spite
While he’s watchin’ Fox News with his scants, round his ankles
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5. |
Inflatable Donald
02:04
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6. |
News Flash
00:47
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Scientists say it isn't a fake
There could be life because of a lake
On Mars
In showbusiness facts, someone with an axe
Has smashed up Donald Trump's Hollywood
Star
More as we get it...
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7. |
There Was No Collusion
01:41
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Wouldn't it be nice if I said would?
Would a woodchuck chuck wood if it could?
Wouldn't I lie to you?
Of course I would
A double negative is not no good
There was no collusion
(Would, wouldn't - aye ee ah)
There was no collusion
(Would, wouldn't - aye ee ah)
There was no collusion
(Would, wouldn't - aye ee ah)
There was no collusion
(Would, wouldn't - aye ee ah)
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8. |
Socks On Fire
01:49
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The racists are raging
Burning their shoes
They don't like Nike
Nike
All this commotion
For taking the knee
Affecting their psyche
Crikey
You
Your socks are on fire
Hand me my scissors
I'll cut off my swoosh
Hate immigration
Integration
Home of the braindead
Land of the freaks
For self-immolation
Just do it
You
Your socks are on fire
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9. |
Mr Trump Is Magic
03:11
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There’s only been 5 times in the last 105 years that an incumbent President has won seats in the Senate in the off year election. Mr. Trump has magic about him. This guy has magic coming out of his ears. He is an astonishing vote getter & campaigner.
(you'll like this not a lot)
Mr Trump has magic, you know
Never believe it's not so
He's magic, you know
Never believe, it's not so
In the last two years
It's coming out his ears
Astonishing vote getter and campaigner
Pick a card, any card
CNN - you're barred
Chop a woman in half and then drain a swamp
Mr Trump has magic, you know
Look at that oompa loompa go
He's tragic, you know
Never believe, it's not so
Pulling rabbits out
Of a hat and shout
Don't look at the man behind the curtain
Smoke and mirrors here
Make the Statue of Liberty disappear
Outshining David Copperfield in a certain light
Mr Trump has magic, you know
"Been a long time, they've got nothing, zero"
"And I think I know more -- and I think I know more than they know."
Never believe, it's not so
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10. |
Raking Bad
01:05
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The President of America met the President of Finland
The President of America met the President of Finland
Apparently they talked about raking the forest floor
But one president said the other was just talking out his hole
I don't go out in rainy weather
I don't know my Paradise from my Pleasure
I don't know my arse from my elbow
I'm the President of the United States of America
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11. |
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Jim Acosta in the White house
I don't like how you speak to me
Or the way you treat Sarah Huckabee
Mia Love gave me no love
I'm not sure that I should be happy or sad
I think she could have won that race
But she didn't want to have any embrace
I want them to come into the country
But they have to come in legally
Jim Acosta in the White house
I can't hide (Acosta in the White house)
I won't let Jim Acosta inside (Acosta in the White house)
He keeps on haunting me (Acosta in the White house)
Just keeps on reminding me (Acosta in the White house)
In my mind I know you're gone
I'll give you voter suppression
It's such a hostile media, it's so sad
That's such a racist question
For though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
Jim Acosta in the White house
I can't hide (Acosta in the White house)
I won't let Jim Acosta inside (Acosta in the White house)
He keeps on haunting me (Acosta in the White house)
Just keeps on reminding me (Acosta in the White house)
I just keep hearing your footsteps on the stairs (Acosta in the White house)
When I know there's no-one there (Acosta in the White house)
Everyday I love you more (Acosta in the White house)
So much more than the day before (Acosta in the White house)
Sittin' in my easy chair
I feel your fingers runnin' through my hair
Lookin' down in my covfefe cup
I think I see your face lookin' up
All alone in my gloom
Your voice echoes through the room
Jim Acosta in the White house
I can't hide (Acosta in the White house)
From the ghost of your love that's inside (Acosta in the White house)
It keeps on haunting me (Acosta in the White house)
Just keeps on reminding me (Acosta in the White house)
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12. |
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What she did with her emails
Is so criminal
Is so dishonest
Is so shocking
She was willing to risk our foreign enemies reading her emails
She lied a dog on her emails
She lied like a dog
(Lock her up! Lock her up!)
Ivanka sent some personal emails
Naughty pup
Don't lock her up
Yuk yuk yuk yuk
(Lock her up! Lock her up!)
Her dad said Hillary should go to jail
Shut her up
Lock her up
Yuk yuk yuk
(Lock her up! Lock her up!)
But wait, it's not hypocrisy
If ignorance is your plea
Just say you didn't know that it was wrong
That's OK, move along
Move along
I guarantee one thing
We're gonna be talking about those emails
Every moment of every day
I'd rather rake a forest than a street
Yes, I would
If I could
I surely would
I'd rather let the poorest take the heat
Oh I have
I really have
I surely have
(Lock her up! Lock her up!)
This is the biggest scandal since Watergate
She should be in prison
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13. |
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The Saudi Arabia crown prince
He gives me loads of cash
I'm not the person to convince
He might be a little rash
Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the doorway assassins rip
Goodbye Khashoggi
He only killed one journalist
He only killed one journalist
Crown prince Mohammed bin Salman
He only killed one journalist
Hey, we can still be friends
He only killed one journalist
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14. |
Einstein? Uh Go Go
02:34
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Einstein? Uh Go Go
Einstein? Uh Go Go
Einstein? Uh Go Go
Donald says climate change
Is a hoax and not man made
Even so, come the judgement day
I'll be the one who's saved
Einstein? Uh Go Go
Einstein? Uh Go Go
Einstein? Uh Go Go
I've got facts I know the truth
You're all corrupt you're all depraved
A few devices around the place
I'll blow you all away
"God does not play dice with the world"
That's my job, it's alright in my world (We're all doing well)
But still there's ice in the world
I wish you could go to Greenland
Einstein? Uh Go Go
Einstein? Uh Go Go
You better watch out you better beware
Einstein? Uh Go Go
Albert said that E equals M C squared
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15. |
Music Was My Potus
01:32
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Trump's actual words: "I have broken more Elton John records, he seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don't have a musical instrument. I don't have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ....Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important."
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