1. |
This Charmless Man
02:34
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Ruptured barnacle
Clinging to a sinking country, desolate
Will nature make a man of this mess?
Crashing through Downing Street
This charmless man
Why bother with complexity
When the lies run smooth
While you practice deceit?
A woolen bag of shite
Who hasn't got a stitch to wear
This man is so gruesome
As if someone so loathsome would care
Ah! A Pilsbury doughboy
Coked up on privilege
He said "I don't touch ching"
He knows fuck all about most things
He knows fuck all about most things
A woolen bag of shite
Who hasn't got a stitch to wear
This man is so gruesome
As if someone so loathsome would care
La, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charmless man
Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charmless man
Ah! A jumped up Trump fan boy
Landfill with a face
He said "I don't touch ching"
He knows fuck all about most things
He knows fuck all about most things
He knows fuck all about most things
He knows fuck all about most things
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2. |
Gammon People
03:49
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He went up to Oxford with a thirst for knowledge
He studied Classics at Balliol College
That's why I
Caught his eye
He told me that his dad was loaded
I said "I wish I'd known that before I voted"
He said "Fine"
And in thirty years' time
He said
"I want the votes of gammon people
I want to do whatever gammon people do
I want to sleep with gammmon people
I want to sleep with gammon people like you"
Well, what else could I do?
I voted to leave the EU
He took me out of the Single Market
I don't know why but he had to start it
Somewhere
So he started there
I said "What happened to all the NHS money?"
He just laughed and said "Oh you're so funny"
I said "Yeah?
Well, I can still see foreigners over here"
Are you sure you want to live like gammon people?
You want to see whatever gammon people see
You want to sleep with gammon people
You want to sleep with gammon people like me
But he didn't understand
He just smiled and waved his hand
Buy a flat on the Costa del Sol
Don't learn to speak in Español
Smoke some fags and drink some beer
Pretend you always lived round here
But still you'll never get it right
Cause when you're laid in bed at night
Watching your pension value fall
If he cancelled A50 he could stop it all
You'll never live like gammon people
You'll never do whatever gammon people do
You'll never fail like gammon people
You'll never watch your life slide out of view
And drink and blame the EU
Because there's nothing else to do
String along the gammon people
String them along it might just get you through
Laugh along with the gammon people
Laugh along even though they're laughing at you
And the stupid things that you do
Because you think that poor is cool
You got the votes of the gammon people
You got the votes of the gammon people
You got the votes of the gammon people
Like you la la la
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3. |
Boris Is A Lying Cunt
03:18
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The 31st of October
That's when it will be all over, yes it will
That'll be the day the UK dies
I am Boris Johnson's son
Never heard nothin' but bad things about him
Mother I'm depending on you to tell me the truth
Mother just hung her head and said, son
Boris is a lying cunt
And so's his running partner Jeremy Hunt
But when he lies, it's just a publicity stunt
Boris is a lying cunt
And so's his running partner Jeremy Hunt
But when he lies, the press say it's a bit of fun
Hey Mother!
Is it true what they say that Boris never worked a day in his life
And Mother, some bad talk goin' round town sayin' that
Boris had three outside children
And another wife, and that ain't right
Heard some talk Boris doing some storefront preachin'
Talking about saving souls and all the time leechin'
Dealing in dirt, and stealing in the name of the Lords
Mother just hung her head and said
Boris is a lying cunt
And so's his running partner Jeremy Hunt
But when he lies, it's just a publicity stunt
Boris is a lying cunt
And so's his running partner Jeremy Hunt
But when he lies, the press say it's a bit of fun
Hey Mother
I heard Boris called blacks piccaninnies
Said they had watermelon smiles and then he
Said homosexuals were bumboys
And Muslim women pillar boxes
Folks say Boris never was much on thinking
Spent most of his time chasing women and drinking
Mother I'm depending on you to tell me the truth
Mother looked up with a tear in her eye and said, son
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4. |
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Take a look at my boyfriend
He's the only one I got
He's my racist boyfriend
Cos racism is really hot
I'm gonna export running water
And Mars Bars to America
See the girls in California
I'm hoping it's going to come true
Oh there's such a lot I can do
Could we have kippers for breakfast
Mummy dear, mummy dear
We'll have a full English Brexit
When everyone's a millionaire
I'm a winner, I'm a sinner
Do you wannna play wiff waff?
I'm a loser, what a joker
I'm playing my jokes upon you
While there's nothing better to do
Ba-ba-ba-dow, ba-bow-dum-doo-de-dow-de-dow, de
Ba-ba-ba-dow, ba-bow-dum-de-doo-de-dow
Na na na, nana na na na na
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5. |
Crazy Boris
02:26
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There's an arsehole with floppy hair
Yes, it's Boris Johnson, he was London Mayor
He's a pillock, but those cockernees
Thought it funny to make him big cheese
What a show, there he goes befriending Merseyside, yeah
If it wasn't for 'Have I Got News For You' he'd have died without a trace
Crazy Boris
Crazy Boris
He's a fop, he's a real fun guy
Flopping around London on his wee pushbike
The last incumbent was a fan of newts
But this new one, he prefers jackboots
What a show, there he goes sweeping back his fringe, yeah
A million cockneys every day open their Evening Standard and pray
So take a good look around
See what you've done
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6. |
Kim Darroch
02:01
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UK Ambassador leaking out the diptels
US president dishing dead cat smells
Don and Boris - Clumsy and Inept, hey
Spoiling us with Ferrero Rocher
Kim Darroch, Kim Darroch, roch roch roch
He gone
He gone
Trump says Kim's a very stupid guy
Johnson is the apple of his eye
Undiplomatic, uncivil service
Totally wild and totally selfish
Kim Darroch, Kim Darroch, roch roch roch
He gone
He gone
Kim Darroch, Kim Darroch, roch roch roch
He gone
He gone
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7. |
We Have Blinked
01:09
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Goodbye EU mistrusted friend
We've known each other since I was nine or ten
Together we learned Portugese
Learned of aubergines and cheese
Fell on our arses and our knees
I've read the bible and you know
I'm going to quote from it cos I'm Bojo
There's that bit in Exodus
That I think applies to us
I'll say it now with my smug pus
We have blinked, we have baulked
We have bottled it, we're borked
Channel Moses to Pharaoh
And let my people go
We have blinked, we have baulked
We are tight arsed, we are taut
We'll quote Latin, Greek, Hebrew
Cos we've fuck all else to do
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8. |
Bendy Bus Boris
02:08
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One of the best sights on a London street today
Is an elongated vehicle that likes to bend both ways
But what we would like to hear so that it can warn us
Is the sound of an accordion when it goes round corners
Oh bendy, bendy, bendy, bendy ,bendy bus
You are very trendy and so say all of us
Please sign the petition
Oh it would be such bliss
If every time you turned a corner it sounded like this…
Oh bendy, bendy, bendy, bendy ,bendy bus
You’re not very good at going in reverse
Please sign the petition
Oh it would be such bliss
If every time it turned a corner it sounded like this…
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9. |
Brexit Clown
03:28
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I sing the national anthem
To remind me of the empire
When we waived the rules
With servants and slaves
Sing God Save The Queen
And try to not sound sour
Hope that God exists
I hope, I pray
Drawn by the undertow
UK is out of control
I believe Scotland can still escape
So let it go
[Chorus]
Brexit clown
Brexit clown
Brexit clown
That's what they call me
Ow ow ow ow ow ow Brexit clown
Oh misery
Now I'm depressed to hear
I don't get to go to some far off places
It's hard to carry on
On a zip wire alone
Now I've swung back down again
It's worse than it was before
We'll sell the NHS
Anyhow by the back door
[Chorus]
Those who feel the breath of sadness
Sit down next to me
Those who find they're touched by madness
Sit down next to me
Those who find themselves ridiculous
Sit down next to me
In ignorance, in fear, in hate,
In ignorance, in fear, in hate
In ignorance, in fear, in hate
In ignorance and fear
Down,
Down
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10. |
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I ain't gonna work on Boris Johnston's Baby Farm no more
The conditions are intolerable and my sword arm is sore
King Herod is the foreman - I think it is against the law
I ain't gonna work on Boris Johnston's Baby Farm no more
I ain't gonna work on Boris Johnston's Baby Farm no more
I am tired of hacking heads off, I'm knee deep in blood and gore
Now they want to make a documentary on Channel 4
I ain't gonna work on Boris Johnston's Baby Farm no more
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11. |
Project Farce
00:53
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Don't come round here, Don't come round here,
We've done away with Project Fear
We've moved on to Project Farce
Boris Johnson - what an arse
The cunt, the cunt, the country
Is rudderless and all at sea
The Labour Party's not been idle
They've gone all mass suicidal
There's no Plan A, There's no Plan B,
There's no Plan C, There's no Plan D,
There's no Plan E, There's no Plan F,
They're speechless, blind and fucking deaf
Don't come round here, Don't come round here,
We've done away with Project Fear
We've moved on to Project Farce
Boris Johnson - arse!
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12. |
Boris The Ligor
02:30
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Who's that crawling up Whitehall?
Heading for a great big fall
A cross between Siegfried and Roy
And one of their tigers, boy
Boris The Ligor...
Creepy, Crawley like Paul Morley
Creepy creepy crawly crawly
Pauly Pauly
Morley Morley
Mixing up tigers and lions
Is dodgy at the best of times
But throw in a London mayor
Makes it a complete nightmare
Boris The Ligor... (Night Mayor)
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13. |
Porton Down
03:16
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Step down get out of town
Down down deeper and down
Down down Porton Down
Down down deeper and down
I want all the world to see
To see you're lying, that you're lying through your teeth
F.O. Delete those tweets
Again again again again
Again again again and Boris Johnson
Step down Boris Johnson
Down down Boris Johnson
Down down deeper and down
Porton, Porton Down
We have found you out you see
We know what you are doing to the fucking country
Keep shtum the BBC
Again again again again
Again-gain-gain-gain you fucking clown
Step down Boris Johnson
Down down you fucking clown
Over Porton Down
Down down deeper and down
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