We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The Clown Is Dead

by Various Artists

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Oh! Take me back to dear old Blighty, Put me on the train for London Town, Take me anywhere, Drop me anywhere, Liverpool, Leeds or Birmingham 'Cause I don't care, I should like to see my... By land, by sea. Farewell... Here's this land's spineless jelly Shunned like a cold tagliatelle His very Lowness with his arse in his hands Never sorry about his party plans And so I checked all the registered historical facts And I was not surprised to discover How he's the 18th pale descendent Of Moby Dick's blubber So I apologised to the Palace In my usual offhand manner She said: "Get the plebs to pay for My son's court case ya spanner" We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry And talk about Rees Mogg But when you're tied to your nanny's apron No one talks about big dog We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry And talk about precious things Like being ambushed by a cake on my birthday These are the things that killed me We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry And talk about precious things But the rain that flattens my hair These are the things that kill me Back to TV to be funny Have I Got News For You - made you more money The clown is dead, boys But he's not lonely, only dim Life's a piece of pish when you're loaded Life's a piece of pish when you're loaded
2.
This Guy 00:55
3.
Denial, distraction, delay It ain't no big thing There's no problem, not a thing It ain't no big thing It's all going well Aggravate them for a few days Say the problem is covid eh? Bubble up, mask up in the store Don't mention Brexit anymore Denial, distraction and delay That's the way we run things these days Stitched up tight, you can't shake free You're all hooked, hooked on me Oh-oh, remember that bus? Lying's the drug I'm thinking of Oh-oh, can't you see? Lying's the drug for me Oh-ooh-oh Oh-ooh-oh Lying... Lying... Lying's the drug
4.
Stick the covid up yer jacksy I've got another cunning plan Just a few suggestions Don't ask me questions I'm a non-answerable man How everything works Is a mystery It's like the changing of the seasons And the tides of the sea But heres the one thats driving me berserk How come all us Tories are still in work La la lala - la la la la la (etc) We've got some half arsed ideas Arse lickers like Piers You wanna buy a garden bridge? No? I'll just hide in a fridge Pooling, sharing, Extra marital affairing, Wealthy backers Phone hackers You can try and attack us Selling off the NHS We really couldn't care less Less, less, less, less, less, less, less No pies in Greggs, no KFCs No Nandos snacks, no HGVs Gas price up, fuel no more Rivers fill with sewage raw… God bless Brexit Street Viva Brexit Street Long live Brexit Street C’est Magnifique Brexit Street Magnifique Brexit Street Brexit Street
5.
Wage Growth 01:08
I've given you the most important metric Which is never mind life expectancy Never mind cancer outcomes Look at wage growth Look at wage growth Wage growth Look at wage growth Wage growth Never mind life expectancy Never mind cancer outcomes Look at wage growth Wage growth Wage growth Wage growth Wage growth Connected Never mind life expectancy Never mind cancer outcomes Look at wage growth I see through you I see through you I see through you I see through you Your dirty tricks You make me sick I see through you Wage growth I see through you
6.
Pig Man 02:29
7.
8.
Bitter, batter… Butter, butter…. Tosser One little slogan Done to death What a cunning stunt What a PR triumph Build back better But just change one letter It’s stinking patter Fucking stinking patter It’s a cock in a TikTok Screwin’ up the country Like the cunt he is , The cunty cock in a TikTok It really doesn’t matter If he’s spouting shite patter every day
9.
My eyes betray me Even as I lay a hand on you My eyes betray me I’m a million miles away from you It’s obvious that I’ll betray you So close, so close and yet so far
10.
Went to Eton, had a ball Went to Oxford, did fuck all Partied hard, gained my degree Became PM, d’you know what that means? Painter Man Painter Man I am the PM – Painter Man Painter Man Painter Man Look at me, I’m the Painter Man La la la land, Marbella
11.
There’ll be shit all over The white cliffs of Dover And tampons as far as you can see All together now And applicators Will float by later These turd herds prove our sovereignty
12.
The tax man’s taking all your dough But here comes Biden and BoJo Sticky issues on a muggy DC afternoon A lovely atmosphere in the White House I’m warm and cosy in my blouse Sticky issues on a muggy DC afternoon Save me, save me, save me from this squeeze Laura Kuennsberg sitting on Bawjaws’ knees And she loves reporting positively That’s yer balance on the BBC Sticky issues on a muggy DC afternoon It’s Laura soft soap time Just ignore the lies Everything is fine
13.
I wish I could have a big motorcade like Biden You can! I can’t. I’ve got to pretend to save the world so dream on You can! I can’t. I’ve got to sleep off this massive hangover Leaning on the shoulders of David Attenborough But I can’t do all this and keep a mask on Boris just wanna have fun The motorcade holds sway The motorcade sped on
14.
I’ve got champagne You’ve got the crooks Let’s make lots of money You’ve got the hat I’ve got the hair Let’s make lots of… Can’t get enough of scheming And taking the piss I’m making you the minister Of lies and prejudice I’m looking for a partner Someone who gets things fixed Ask yourself this question Do you want to be even more rich? I’ve ate the brains And cooked the books Let’s make lots of money You’ve got the lolling You know all the dukes Let’s make lots of money Oh, where’s the Brexit opportunities? I want you to look for them You know there’s a lot of opportunities If there aren’t, you can make them up
15.
I’ll take 20 quid a week from you And you’ll pay for social care too Those are the facts maan Yeah, just pay the tax maaan We’ll vaccinate the poor you see To stop them from getting wealthy That’s the real vax man It’s Brexit Max maaan Never mind about the meek And the 350 million pounds a week If you get too cold, you’ll still take the heat Walk your garden so I can tax your feet
16.
Once upon a time there was consensus When we agreed to differ on politics But now we are governed by the senseless Which no-one seems to know how to fix Rich fuckwits Propped up by poor fuckwits A moronic bond that Labour cannot break* Just live the life you choose And you can never lose If you think there’s no consequence to pay La la la la… *thanks to Craig Smith for this tweet
17.
This ain’t taking back control, this is genocide As they pulled you out of the oxygen tent You asked for the latest party With your Benny Hill pose and Worzel Gummidge clothes Like a burst couch you was Downing Street freak you was Crawling to the party on your hands and knees I’m sure you’re not protected from any fucking disease You’ll get away with murder hiding behind the christmas tree Slobber and slime you go, underneath the mistletoe I’ll keep the police serene (Will they come?) They wouldn’t dare make a scene (Will they come?) They’re not coming along Come out into the rose garden, baby We’ll have a cautious snog Young girl, they call us the Downing Street Dogs Young girl, they call us the Downing Street Dogs Keep your head down
18.
That’s the sound of a cunt smirking like a wean again That’s the sound of a cunt smirking and lying
19.
Well, I’m a cheatin’ rat and a son of a gun And I don’t give a toss about this country I run My main concerns are money, cake and booze Now, I don’t have time to explain my crimes So to cover my back and explain my lies Me and the met have come up with a ploy named Sue At first I said it wisnae me Attending all these illegal parties Then I said I didn’t know the rules As it turned out no-one believed A single word, so we conceived A plan of distraction with my pal Sue Well, Dick said we’ll call it partygate She had a pal named Ball to co-operate And I’d pretend to care about Ukraine I got my chums to sing the same old song To repeat the mantra, ‘Let’s move on’ And gave Liz Truss some dosh to get on a plane We knew that people would get bored And as our popularity soared We’d celebrate with a suitcase of wine or two All the dead cats flying around To confuse and further compound The master stroke of a ploy named Sue
20.
Well, everybody’s talking and splitting bloody hairs Everybody’s breaking rules and no one really cares There’s matches in the commons, just below the stairs Always something happening and nothing going on There’s always something cooking and nothing getting done But this is fucking normal according to The Sun Nobody told me there’d be parties Nobody told me there’d be wine and cheese Nobody told me – oh for fucks sake please Get on your knees Freeze, Boris, freeze Wait for Sue Gray
21.
So tired, tired of waiting Waiting for Sue Gray So tired, does she even have Any authority? It’s like putting your Auntie Jean in charge of the CIA And getting her to investigate that time you had a party When your mum and dad was away Cummings laughs He can do what he likes Photographs of Boris coked out of his face Drinking wine from a suitcase Oh I’m so tired, tired of waiting Waiting for Sue Gray What does it even matter What she has to say? Sue Gray
22.
Whip It Good 02:36
Crack that whip You must whip it You must whip it Now whip it Into shape Shape it up Get straight Go forward Move ahead Try to detect it It’s not too late To whip it Whip it good
23.
While we all wait for Sue Gray Let’s find out what happened on Bawjaws’ birthday Well, of course they had a party (of course) And Lulu Lytle came down to play Well, we’ve got to get the flat done up nice But also hand out sombre advice To the nation at 5 o’clock But until then let the champagne corks pop Cake and candles for big dog Bojo Carrie Antoinette said make it so Coke and dope for big dog Bojo While the rest can watch their loved ones die Let the bodies pile high
24.
“Is he really going away this time?” “Well, there he is, let’s ask him” “Boris, is that Carrie’s ring you’re wearing?” “Mmm-hmm” “Gee, it must be great riding with her” “Is she picking you up after school today?” “Mmm-mmm” “By the way, where did you meet her?” He stood there in front of the door He turned around and smiled at them You get the picture “Yes, we see” They really adored him, the media pack The man just simply has no shame (shame, shame) He just refuses to take the blame (Them’s the breaks) It’s getting more absurd Blame it on the herd We’ll never believe him Just leave and don’t look back He felt so hopeless what could he do (Boooo, boooo) Just let the bodies pile high, what’s new? (200,000 dead and still he keeps on lying) And now he wants a final bash So he can go on the lash That’s why he’s still there Just leave and don’t look back No, no, no, no, no, no, no Look out, look out, look out He’s so bloody hopeless, what can he do? Remembering all the things we’ve been through The press, they all stopped and stared He just didn’t fucking care We’ll never believe him Just leave and don’t look back Ooh-ooh-ooh (gone, gone-gone-gone-gone-gone) The media pack, they’ll just move on (gone, gone-gone-gone-gone-gone) The media pack, they’ll just move on (gone, gone-gone-gone-gone-gone) The media pack, they’ll just move on (gone, gone-gone-gone-gone-gone)

credits

released July 7, 2022

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Various Artists Scotland, UK

contact / help

Contact Various Artists

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Various Artists, you may also like: