1. |
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|
Don't come, all ye faithful
Covid is triumphant
Don't come ye, Don't come ye to ma hoose this year
There is no turkey
And no pigs in blankets
O Christ and there's no pudding
O Christ and there's no pudding
O Christ and there's no pudding
Christ I'm bored
|
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2. |
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I'm dreaming of a white crisp mask
To shove over my nose and mouth
Well I might be freezin
But when I'm sneezin
None of my droplets will come out, oh oh
I'm dreaming of a white crisp mask
Don't wanna spread the rona wide
May your nose be itchy and red
And may all your rellies no get dead
|
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3. |
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|
Hark! the herald hand gels sing
Glory to the new washing!
Keep your palms and digits fresh
Scrub for 20 secs
Some of them are pretty icky
Viscuous, clammy and sticky
Some are thin and useless though
Christ it's hard to let them soak in
Hark! the herald hand gels sing
Get lubed up and get stuck in!
|
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4. |
Feliz Covidad
01:01
|
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|
Feliz Covidad
Feliz Covidad
Feliz Covidad
Prospero año y felicidad
Feliz Covidad
Feliz Covidad
Feliz Covidad
Prospero año y felicidad
I'm bloody sick of coronavirus
I'm bloody sick of coronavirus
I'm bloody sick of coronavirus
From the bottom of my heart
|
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5. |
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6. |
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|
Oh little town of deathly phlegm, try to keep the noise down
Some of us are trying to be optimists, but not Ian Brown
Yet in thy dark streets shineth, the everlasting light
The hopes and fears of this crap year might just not end in shite
|
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7. |
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|
Pfizer Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Between his elbow and his upper arm
There's a vaccine going round
Are you listening Ian Brown?
Your anti vax conspiracies
Just make you look a clown
Pfizer mommy tickle Santa Claus
Just beneath his shoulder, gie's a shot
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Ian Brown had seen
Pfizer kissing Santa Claus last night
|
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8. |
The First No Smell
01:27
|
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|
The first no smell, the doctors do say
Is a certain symptom of the covid, I'm afraid
And obviously a cough and a shiver as well
So keep keeping your distance and using hand gel
No smell, No smell, No smell, No smell
Get ti yer scratcher, you're definitely no well
|
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9. |
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|
Trackin' around the Christmas tree
In a Sainsbury's car park
Mistletoe hung so you can see
They are just being sarcastic
Trackin' around the Christmas tree
It's a temporary thing
We'll stay inside our own bubble
And squeak some caroling
You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear
Your app pinging, let's be jolly
You've been traced, don't get melancholy
Trackin' around the Christmas tree
Isolate this holiday
Everyone dancin' merrily
Keeping six feet away
|
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10. |
||||
|
A hands face spaceman came travelling
From behind his lectern he preached
He said follow these rules
Don't be fools
For they shall not be breeched
And his name was Professor Van Tam,
La la la la la la la la la
Professor Van Tam
|
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11. |
Normal By Christmas
01:24
|
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|
Here come old bawjaws with another catchphrase
More verbal diaorhhea, more drooling mayonaise
Grab a cliché from the ashtray
Pretend that you care
Bumble like a womble
And ruffle your hair
It’ll be normal by Christmas
So spaff your money
It’ll be normal by Christmas
Milk and honey
Let’s all pretend this will end
And we’ll be covid free
By Christmas
|
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12. |
||||
|
We’re forever forming baubles
Bloody hell, what next, eh?
I’m level 3
You are level 4
So I cannot travel to see you no more
The rules are always changing
Are the pubs open or shut?
We’re forever forming baubles
Christmas can get ti fuck
|
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13. |
Horrortale In New Yoker
00:35
|
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|
We were stuck together
At Covidmas ho ho
There was nothing on telly
I dug out the video
You scumbag, you maggot, you’ve taped over Taggart*
Merry Christmas your arse, I’ve taped over the darts**
And The Boys From The Blackstuff wiped as well
I don’t know what to say
Only Bells to drink us out our misery
*@MhairiHunter
**@Tucker5Law
|
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14. |
Oh Piss, Tier 3
00:47
|
|||
|
Oh piss, tier three
Oh piss, tier three
That's no fun now, is it?
Oh piss, tier three
Oh piss, tier three
At least no one can visit
Eat all my food and never shift
Are never grateful for my gift
Oh piss, tier three
Oh piss, tier three
It's worked out quite well actually
words: @TheRealFlups
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15. |
||||
|
He’s checking Twitter,
He only needs to once
He's going to find out it’s 99% cunts
Santa Claus is staying at home
|
||||
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