Boooooooooooooo!

by Various Artists

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1.
Wehhhhhhhlllllll.... I was minding my business Tousling my hair Then I decided to run the country It was worthwhile living a laughable life To set my eyes on that glittering prize Cos I'm thicker than Lulu I'm not strange I just want to live my life this way It was an easy thing I gave up the ching And blustered and lied to the fools And I'll collect the money as prime minister It is not at all sinister I'm thicker than Lulu I'm not strange I just want to live my life this way A clownish monsignor With a head full of plaster I'll never get my vile soul dry-cleaned And I'll collect the money as prime minister As natural as rain He dances again My God! Thicker than Lulu Oh yeah Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh... I'm thicker than Lulu Oh yeah Oh... The next day at the lectern With freedom and ease Spreading ignorance, dust, and disease I'm counting the money as prime minister As natural as rain I'll lie again and again and again I'm thicker than Lulu Everybody say Boo Booo And I am a lying swine And I am a lying swine I am a lying swine I'm a lying swine I am a lying swine I'm a lying swine Swine I am a lying swine
2.
Axe Me 02:48
Loch Ness is nice, and Loch Ness has a monster Who I still believe in And am keen to foster Skegness is nice, and Skegness is bracing It's in Lincolnshire And is South East facing So, I think I will go up there And get some seaside air Axe me, I don't care now, how's my hair? Torness is nice, and Torness is glowing With nuclear power It is overflowing So, if there's something you're holding back And you'd like to have a crack Axe me, I'm an absolute maniac Spending warm summer days indoors Building model buses For a buck-toothed girl from London Axe me, axe me, axe me Axe me, axe me, axe me Because if it's not love Then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb The bomb, the bomb The bomb that will bring us together Latin is my language, can't you read? Cocaine is the drug, but also speed Because if it's not love Then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb The bomb, the bomb The bomb that will bring us together If it's no deal Then it's the bomb Then it's the bomb That will bring us together So axe me, axe me, axe me Axe me, axe me, axe me Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
3.
Back Door Boris, Back Door Boris He isn't quite sure what a front door is They let him in the front To see his cabinet of cunts But then they chuck him out of the back entrance Back Door Boris, Back Door Boris Everywhere he goes there's a chorus It isn't Greek They won't let him speak No one wants to hear Back Door Boris
4.
Coup! Coup! Thur's been a coup In yonder Westminster, a cunt's Who's Who It hasnae moved cos it's still there noo I am the Boris goo ga choob Dorries is in rude health Every single one of them is in rude wealth It's basically the Brexit Party by stealth I am the Boris goo ga choob Love you Yes you love you Yes you love your coup ca choo Want you Yes you want you Yes you, you really do want you
5.
Boos, Boris, it's boos That's what you are hearing We can't hear the news For all of the jeering Even in the countryside The cows don't go moo It's boos, Boris, it's boos Always it's boos Constantly boos Passionate boos Really loud boos Boris, it's boos
6.
Telt 02:12
Telt, he needed telling Telt, he's such a bellend Telt, you know he needed telling, telt When Boris Johnson came up to Edinburgh He thought he'd pop along to Bute House to see Nicola But he got booed and did not feel so self assured I think you'll find he changed his mind and left by the back door Skelped on the backside, the fucking clown We don't appreciate you being round Get back to the London underground Won't you please, please be telt And now our lives have changed in oh so many ways Our independence seems to vanish in the haze Oh every now and then I feel so insecure We need independence like we've never done before Skelped on the backside, the fucking clown We don't appreciate you being round Get back to the London underground Won't you please, please be telt
7.
He looks us in the eye and insists this is new money His office briefs the press that this is new money But the ‘new money’, of course, is a scam The barefaced lies of Trump Britain I’m shorting the pound, I’m shorting the pound I’m driving our currency into the ground It will make you poorer I’ve got to confess, But I’m getting richer - I couldn’t care less Shorting the pound, shorting the pound Shorting the pound, shorting the pound Let’s have a Brexit, however unsound, Cos I’m short, short, short, short Shorting the pound
8.
The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of destruction A real bellender Bad lookin' unrefined Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in our minds? Well let me get right to the point You're a crackpot, tin pot, despot dick Tory Hey suspender, You've spent all your dignity I bet you think this is fun, fun, fun You're having a laugh, laugh I could share you a quick line Swap yer ching for some quicklime The minute you toked on a joint I knew you wouldn't seize the means of production You real bellender The cowardly cheating kind Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in our minds? Well let me get right to the point We could crack the heads of every Tory Prorogue Mahone* Prorogue Mahone Prorogue Mahone You've pissed on democracy Yes
9.
My Bruvver 02:29
Phaugh... There's something funny round here, What is it Ohh! it's you Come here and sit down, You're gonna have the truth told about you and put on record 'Ere, please do not sit too close to me I've just had my breakfast... Thank you Who told lies to the press? Who made up stories to impress? Who fucked it up and left a mess? My brother! My brother said it was not he who shagged the cleaner in the lavatory My brother said that it was me! My brother. My brother wrote on the side of a bus He'd give money to the NHS My brother said it wasn't us My brothers rotten Who said he didn't want an election Then said he wanted an election Who gave Rees Mogg an erection My brother! You oughta see what he drew Aw what a surprise Nobody knew what it was really But everybody had a jolly good idea And he wrote slogans "Down with young mothers" that was one Cos he don't think my mum knows how to bring us up right I don't think so either You know, every night when we're wide awake, She makes us go to bed, and Then in the morning when we're fast asleep She makes us get up Whose new dog made people coo But made others shout, 'Stop the coup!' Who hasn't got a fucking clue My brother! Who shouts at his girlfriend and will not cease Until the neighbours call the police Who's a racist and a beast My brother! He looks just like a chimney sweep But dirt they say is just skin deep I know he's good when he's asleep, But you don't know what he's dreamin' about (do ya) Who wouldn't mind if I ride his bike Who lets me shoot his gun if I like Who says I'm best at Football, Ludo, Snakes & Ladders Hide & Seek, Chasin' each other up and down the garden Pinchin' little girls up the high street Well he's gotta say I'm best Cos I'm bigger than he is And if he don't say I'm best at everything, I'll bash him. Haha My lovely lovely brother Come on, come on mate, lets get out of here Before you fall down the hole in the middle Come on give us your hand' we're gonna wal... 'Ere what have you had in your hand 'Ave ya? Phwoar!!!!!
10.
Dominic 02:54
Dominic a nic a nic a A strategic mastermind He's the brains behind the throne With a towering intellect And a towering forehead He's a one man thunderdome Are these people really clever Or just a herd of cows Dare I fuck a pig or ever Wear a big girl's blouse? He's got the power to lead you Over all the drooling media Mauling like a police dog Sprawling like a Rees Mogg In the corridors of power He is nanny with a shower Hosing down the boners Of the Tory party donors Evil genius or master tactician Or a girly swot Turquoise ties r us Fascism's so hot hot hot He tells Boris what to do But all Boris hears is 'Boo!' Shurely nothing can go wrong What the fuck is going on? Oversees the Cummings and the goings at the despatch box I blame Benedict Cumberbatch - a pox on thee
11.
If you happen to meet Boris in the street you can always go, 'Please leave my town' When you've got worries, just noise up the tories Seems to help, I know Please leave my town Don't listen to the waffle and the obvious distractions Linger on the pavement and slap him on the back and How can you lose? The lights are switched off in there He can forget the troubles, forget all your cares Leave town, things'll be great if you Leave town, nobody cares for sure Leave town nobody likes what you do Please leave my town
12.
A political pundit met a physical Bullingdon bully Asking quite politely if they could read A summary So they printed a sterling work of literature Called Yellowhammer Six whole pages, without any pictures Oh, oh, oh, oh Food and medicine shortages And civil unrest - yay! Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer Came down upon our heads Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer Will not remain unread Dover queues again, passport control blues again Hard and soft borders Prices going up like the seventies ee ee ees Power cuts are back, and the pyromaniacs Everything's on fire But never mind, it's the will of the people Oh, oh, oh, oh This is not even the worst case scenario Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer Come down upon our heads Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer Says we won't all be dead x2 P. C. Thirty-one said, "We caught a dirty one" Ian Duncan Smith Picks his nose and eats it and stockpiles His bogies Rees Mogg lolls and plays with his dolls all day Says Johnson's not guilty (Johnson's not guilty) The judges don't agree and they tell him So, oh, oh, oh But as the words are leaving their lips Scots hatred rises Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer Comes down upon our heads Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer Says we won't all be dead x2 Mellow Yellowhammer What about Black Swan? Oi!
13.
There's a Black Swan circulating around Whitehall Giving everyone the fear It is more brutal than the Yellowhammer It'll break your arm if you let it near Wear a tin foil hat like they used to in the old days Wear a tin foil hat and a pair of brogues Ride the black swan and pretend you're going insane And smash your teeth in like you're in The Pogues Prorogue Catch a bright starling, place it on your forehead Fetch a few owls and baby, you will see Take a black swan and sit it on your shoulder And then you'll have an aviary Da-da-da-di-di-da, da-da-da-di-di-da ....
14.
I saw him today in a hospital Being told he had wrecked the NHS By a man who accused him of deception But he just lied to him and said there are no press This cunt always gets what he wants This cunt always gets what he wants This cunt always gets what he wants And if he doesn't, he'll try To lie, lie, lie "There's no press here."
15.
Stop prorogation In the name of the supreme court Boris, Boris, I'm aware of what you do Each time you hear a 'Boo!' I know you're in No.10 Meeting your other love again But this time before you run to him Dominic Cummings (Think it over) Scotland says you're breaking the law (Think it over) Naw naw naw naw Bawjaws Stop prorogation In the name of the supreme court Stop prorogation You've been rumbled, you've been caught Think it over Think it over
16.
We must respect his wishes, Sleeping with the fishes, Wrapped up in his riches Boris de Pfeffel Has anybody seen the Earth moving JCB The job would be a quickie Boris de Pfeffel

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released September 25, 2019

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Various Artists Scotland, UK

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