1. |
Thicker Than Lulu
02:23
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Wehhhhhhhlllllll....
I was minding my business
Tousling my hair
Then I decided to run the country
It was worthwhile living a laughable life
To set my eyes on that glittering prize
Cos I'm thicker than Lulu
I'm not strange
I just want to live my life this way
It was an easy thing
I gave up the ching
And blustered and lied to the fools
And I'll collect the money as prime minister
It is not at all sinister
I'm thicker than Lulu
I'm not strange
I just want to live my life this way
A clownish monsignor
With a head full of plaster
I'll never get my vile soul dry-cleaned
And I'll collect the money as prime minister
As natural as rain
He dances again
My God!
Thicker than Lulu
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh...
I'm thicker than Lulu
Oh yeah
Oh...
The next day at the lectern
With freedom and ease
Spreading ignorance, dust, and disease
I'm counting the money as prime minister
As natural as rain
I'll lie again and again and again
I'm thicker than Lulu
Everybody say Boo Booo
And I am a lying swine
And I am a lying swine
I am a lying swine
I'm a lying swine
I am a lying swine
I'm a lying swine
Swine
I am a lying swine
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2. |
Axe Me
02:48
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Loch Ness is nice, and
Loch Ness has a monster
Who I still believe in
And am keen to foster
Skegness is nice, and
Skegness is bracing
It's in Lincolnshire
And is South East facing
So, I think I will go up there
And get some seaside air
Axe me, I don't care now, how's my hair?
Torness is nice, and
Torness is glowing
With nuclear power
It is overflowing
So, if there's something you're holding back
And you'd like to have a crack
Axe me, I'm an absolute maniac
Spending warm summer days indoors
Building model buses
For a buck-toothed girl from London
Axe me, axe me, axe me
Axe me, axe me, axe me
Because if it's not love
Then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
The bomb, the bomb
The bomb that will bring us together
Latin is my language, can't you read?
Cocaine is the drug, but also speed
Because if it's not love
Then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
The bomb, the bomb
The bomb that will bring us together
If it's no deal
Then it's the bomb
Then it's the bomb
That will bring us together
So axe me, axe me, axe me
Axe me, axe me, axe me
Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
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3. |
Back Door Boris
00:52
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Back Door Boris, Back Door Boris
He isn't quite sure what a front door is
They let him in the front
To see his cabinet of cunts
But then they chuck him out of the back entrance
Back Door Boris, Back Door Boris
Everywhere he goes there's a chorus
It isn't Greek
They won't let him speak
No one wants to hear Back Door Boris
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4. |
I Am The Boris
01:05
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Coup! Coup! Thur's been a coup
In yonder Westminster, a cunt's Who's Who
It hasnae moved cos it's still there noo
I am the Boris goo ga choob
Dorries is in rude health
Every single one of them is in rude wealth
It's basically the Brexit Party by stealth
I am the Boris goo ga choob
Love you
Yes you love you
Yes you love your coup ca choo
Want you
Yes you want you
Yes you, you really do want you
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5. |
Boos, Boris, It's Boos
00:41
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Boos, Boris, it's boos
That's what you are hearing
We can't hear the news
For all of the jeering
Even in the countryside
The cows don't go moo
It's boos, Boris, it's boos
Always it's boos
Constantly boos
Passionate boos
Really loud boos
Boris, it's boos
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6. |
Telt
02:12
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Telt, he needed telling
Telt, he's such a bellend
Telt, you know he needed telling, telt
When Boris Johnson came up to Edinburgh
He thought he'd pop along to Bute House to see Nicola
But he got booed and did not feel so self assured
I think you'll find he changed his mind and left by the back door
Skelped on the backside, the fucking clown
We don't appreciate you being round
Get back to the London underground
Won't you please, please be telt
And now our lives have changed in oh so many ways
Our independence seems to vanish in the haze
Oh every now and then I feel so insecure
We need independence like we've never done before
Skelped on the backside, the fucking clown
We don't appreciate you being round
Get back to the London underground
Won't you please, please be telt
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7. |
Shorting The Pound
00:51
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He looks us in the eye and insists this is new money
His office briefs the press that this is new money
But the ‘new money’, of course, is a scam
The barefaced lies of Trump Britain
I’m shorting the pound, I’m shorting the pound
I’m driving our currency into the ground
It will make you poorer I’ve got to confess,
But I’m getting richer - I couldn’t care less
Shorting the pound, shorting the pound
Shorting the pound, shorting the pound
Let’s have a Brexit, however unsound,
Cos I’m short, short, short, short
Shorting the pound
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8. |
Prorogue Mahone
01:50
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The minute you walked in the joint
I could see you were a man of destruction
A real bellender
Bad lookin' unrefined
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in our minds?
Well let me get right to the point
You're a crackpot, tin pot, despot dick Tory
Hey suspender,
You've spent all your dignity
I bet you think this is fun, fun, fun
You're having a laugh, laugh
I could share you a quick line
Swap yer ching for some quicklime
The minute you toked on a joint
I knew you wouldn't seize the means of production
You real bellender
The cowardly cheating kind
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in our minds?
Well let me get right to the point
We could crack the heads of every Tory
Prorogue Mahone*
Prorogue Mahone
Prorogue Mahone
You've pissed on democracy
Yes
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9. |
My Bruvver
02:29
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Phaugh... There's something funny round here,
What is it
Ohh! it's you
Come here and sit down,
You're gonna have the truth told about you and put on record
'Ere, please do not sit too close to me
I've just had my breakfast...
Thank you
Who told lies to the press?
Who made up stories to impress?
Who fucked it up and left a mess?
My brother!
My brother said it was not he
who shagged the cleaner in the lavatory
My brother said that it was me!
My brother.
My brother wrote on the side of a bus
He'd give money to the NHS
My brother said it wasn't us
My brothers rotten
Who said he didn't want an election
Then said he wanted an election
Who gave Rees Mogg an erection
My brother!
You oughta see what he drew
Aw what a surprise
Nobody knew what it was really
But everybody had a jolly good idea
And he wrote slogans
"Down with young mothers" that was one
Cos he don't think my mum knows how to bring us up right
I don't think so either
You know, every night when we're wide awake,
She makes us go to bed, and
Then in the morning when we're fast asleep
She makes us get up
Whose new dog made people coo
But made others shout, 'Stop the coup!'
Who hasn't got a fucking clue
My brother!
Who shouts at his girlfriend and will not cease
Until the neighbours call the police
Who's a racist and a beast
My brother!
He looks just like a chimney sweep
But dirt they say is just skin deep
I know he's good when he's asleep,
But you don't know what he's dreamin' about (do ya)
Who wouldn't mind if I ride his bike
Who lets me shoot his gun if I like
Who says I'm best at Football, Ludo, Snakes & Ladders
Hide & Seek, Chasin' each other up and down the garden
Pinchin' little girls up the high street
Well he's gotta say I'm best
Cos I'm bigger than he is
And if he don't say I'm best at everything, I'll bash him.
Haha
My lovely lovely brother
Come on, come on mate, lets get out of here
Before you fall down the hole in the middle
Come on give us your hand' we're gonna wal...
'Ere what have you had in your hand
'Ave ya?
Phwoar!!!!!
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10. |
Dominic
02:54
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Dominic a nic a nic a
A strategic mastermind
He's the brains behind the throne
With a towering intellect
And a towering forehead
He's a one man thunderdome
Are these people really clever
Or just a herd of cows
Dare I fuck a pig or ever
Wear a big girl's blouse?
He's got the power to lead you
Over all the drooling media
Mauling like a police dog
Sprawling like a Rees Mogg
In the corridors of power
He is nanny with a shower
Hosing down the boners
Of the Tory party donors
Evil genius or master tactician
Or a girly swot
Turquoise ties r us
Fascism's so hot hot hot
He tells Boris what to do
But all Boris hears is 'Boo!'
Shurely nothing can go wrong
What the fuck is going on?
Oversees the Cummings and the goings at the despatch box
I blame Benedict Cumberbatch - a pox on thee
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11. |
Please Leave My Town
01:02
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If you happen to meet Boris in the street you can always go,
'Please leave my town'
When you've got worries, just noise up the tories
Seems to help, I know
Please leave my town
Don't listen to the waffle and the obvious distractions
Linger on the pavement and slap him on the back and
How can you lose?
The lights are switched off in there
He can forget the troubles, forget all your cares
Leave town, things'll be great if you
Leave town, nobody cares for sure
Leave town nobody likes what you do
Please leave my town
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12. |
Brexit's Yellow Hammer
03:14
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A political pundit met a physical
Bullingdon bully
Asking quite politely if they could read
A summary
So they printed a sterling work of literature
Called Yellowhammer
Six whole pages, without any pictures
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Food and medicine shortages
And civil unrest - yay!
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Came down upon our heads
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Will not remain unread
Dover queues again, passport control blues again
Hard and soft borders
Prices going up like the seventies
ee ee ees
Power cuts are back, and the pyromaniacs
Everything's on fire
But never mind, it's the will of the people
Oh, oh, oh, oh
This is not even the worst case scenario
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Come down upon our heads
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Says we won't all be dead x2
P. C. Thirty-one said, "We caught a dirty one"
Ian Duncan Smith
Picks his nose and eats it and stockpiles
His bogies
Rees Mogg lolls and plays with his dolls all day
Says Johnson's not guilty
(Johnson's not guilty)
The judges don't agree and they tell him
So, oh, oh, oh
But as the words are leaving their lips
Scots hatred rises
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Comes down upon our heads
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Says we won't all be dead x2
Mellow Yellowhammer
What about Black Swan? Oi!
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13. |
Ride A Black Swan
01:04
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There's a Black Swan circulating around Whitehall
Giving everyone the fear
It is more brutal than the Yellowhammer
It'll break your arm if you let it near
Wear a tin foil hat like they used to in the old days
Wear a tin foil hat and a pair of brogues
Ride the black swan and pretend you're going insane
And smash your teeth in like you're in The Pogues
Prorogue
Catch a bright starling, place it on your forehead
Fetch a few owls and baby, you will see
Take a black swan and sit it on your shoulder
And then you'll have an aviary
Da-da-da-di-di-da, da-da-da-di-di-da ....
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14. |
There's No Press Here
01:23
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I saw him today in a hospital
Being told he had wrecked the NHS
By a man who accused him of deception
But he just lied to him and said there are no press
This cunt always gets what he wants
This cunt always gets what he wants
This cunt always gets what he wants
And if he doesn't, he'll try
To lie, lie, lie
"There's no press here."
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15. |
Stop Prorogation
01:16
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Stop prorogation
In the name of the supreme court
Boris, Boris, I'm aware of what you do
Each time you hear a 'Boo!'
I know you're in No.10
Meeting your other love again
But this time before you run to him
Dominic Cummings
(Think it over)
Scotland says you're breaking the law
(Think it over)
Naw naw naw naw Bawjaws
Stop prorogation
In the name of the supreme court
Stop prorogation
You've been rumbled, you've been caught
Think it over
Think it over
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16. |
Dead In A Ditch
00:35
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We must respect his wishes,
Sleeping with the fishes,
Wrapped up in his riches
Boris de Pfeffel
Has anybody seen the
Earth moving JCB
The job would be a quickie
Boris de Pfeffel
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